Being a new nurse sucks. Here's my blunt and honest post, I'm hoping someone out there identifies with.
I have been working my first nursing job ever as a labor and delivery nurse for about three months. I am still on orientation, which is soon coming to an end. I am nervous as ever to be "on my own". There is comfort being with my preceptor- who always has my back. Especially in situations where my patient is hemorrhaging or we are having a prolonged fetal deceleration that requires an emergency c-section. On a day to day basis I feel like there is so much to chart- stupid little things, which eventually add up to be important. It's hard to learn what to chart, where to chart it, and when to chart it. Charting is one of the most difficult and time consuming things when you're new. It literally is one of the things that gives me the worst anxiety
During nursing school, I was so ready to be done. I was so excited to be a "real" nurse and finally start having an income. I fantasied about moving back to Pittsburgh and becoming a Labor and Delivery nurse. Now, that's all a reality. Not only have I started my first big girl job ever, I have also moved into a new apartment, became a dog mom, and realized that I will literally be working for the rest of my life. Realizing this is one of those things that you just can't wrap your head around, and it makes your stomach flip just thinking about it. SO I am dealing with all of this new stuff, and trying to learn a whole new role as a registered nurse. It's a lot, and needless to say I have never had this much anxiety. In nursing school, I would get nervous about somethings, but being a registered nurse with full responsibility of patients lives brings it to another level.
Nursing school taught me nothing- besides medical lingo, which is very important. Doing care plans and bed baths did not prepare me for what I would be facing as a L&D nurse at one if the top women's hospitals in the tri-state area. We deliver about 30 babies a day, 365 days a year-- it's absolutely crazy! Being an obstetrics nurse is a breed of its own. We don't get a whole lot of exposure to women's health in nursing school. I feel like if I was a Med/Surg or Telemetry nurse I'd understand things a little bit more.
Getting to know people at work is also intimidating, you never know if you're going to get to work with nice doctors that day, or a nice scrub, etc. etc. I feel like right out the gate I just have to tell people I'm new so they don't look at me like I have five heads when I am not doing something fast enough (lol). Most people are very nice and understanding, but you always have some people that just aren't- and that's just life. Being new and a brand new nurse, I don't have a whole lot of confidence, which is something I am gradually getting. I find myself questioning if people like me, if I said something stupid, if people think I'm stupid, etc.,etc.,etc. Which is normal- but yet, another stressor when we already have enough stress. Also, I constantly question myself like, "did I say this right" "did I do that right" "did i chart on this" blah blah blah. I bring it home with me, which is not good. I'M WORKING ON THIS. It's gonna take time.
I think it's going to take awhile for me to be confident and semi-relaxed at work. I want other people out there to know that you're not alone if you feel this way too.
OKAY NOW ENOUGH WITH THE NEGATIVITY (which felt good to get out, btw).
My job is awesome. I am so eager to learn and find everything fascinating! I am so lucky to get to do what I do, it's seriously a privilege to help bring little lives in the world everyday. I also love educating and empowering women. I love to teach, and being a new parent comes with a lot of that!
My best advice to myself and others- GIVE IT A CHANCE. IT WONT BE EASY. DO NOT GIVE UP OVER A BAD DAY (or a bad week lol).
You're going to have bad days, you're going to have days where you feel incompetent and like you stuck as a nurse/person/etc. You're going to have easy days (rarely), but you will inevitably have hard days. Give yourself time. Talk to others, get advice, get help. Be confident. Ask yourself- "Did I do my best today?" if the answer is YES, then that's all you can do. Work hard, be kickass, stay positive. Ask for help. Realize you're going to make mistakes. Admit to your faults, learn. And know, these first few months, you know nothing- and that's ok. WE ALL START SOMEWHERE.
^(idk why it's so hard to take your own advice lol)
I have a great support system- friends, family, co-workers, boyfriend. But, I need to start finding a way as a release. I am thinking about running again- so maybe writing this will hold me accountable.
Peace and love my friends.
Best of luck with whatever you're going through. You are awesome, don't forget it.
Thanks for reading!
-K